Awake at 4. XX. And back returns the Dark with no more hope of light!
It is impossible to say how dreadful the first feeling of morning is here ― the memory of those happy bright Crete & Corfu days ― & the knowledge that I have to rise to a prison of life ― so it seems to me ― with no outlet of hope of change! ――――― The post however, brought a letter from Lady James ― with a commission to paint a picture for £150. ― All the morning I coloured the Cerigo sketches, & finished them: there are now only the Cephalonia ― 46 in all. ― No one came but John Simeon. At 4 I went to Lady Goldsmids, A. Peel, ― Thomas Hankey, Julian Goldsmid, Slingsby Bethell, Terrick Hamilton, Dunn-Gardner, Col. Hornby, A. Seymour, Mr. Baring, I came home by 6 ― intending to go & see poor W. Nevill, but could not manage it. ―
Having no dress ― could not dress: so ― was soon prepared to go; but, going, ― Mrs. G. Clive called me, & I sate some time there: then, cab, to Dunn-Garner’s. The sumptuous house & furniture & the “compito” cookery seem very mysterious: also the conversation.
The brother was a silent cove. Mr. & Mrs. G.’s arguments were remarkable. Home by 11.30.
Wines super-eminent: cookery ditto.
[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3. Image.]