Quite gloomy: rainy early. ― Breakfast 9½. Rose at 5.30. Greek till .30.
Letters from ― Miss Cleasby: the Fawkes’s are away, & from C.S.F. of ˇ[part of] which this is a copy. “My dear L. I am most thoughtful that my 1st conversations with the C.’s are over. I arrived on Wednesday (20th) & ˇ[was] as you may suppose, painfully nervous. I had first a long walk & talk with her: later a talk with him. She was comparatively mild, & hopeful about my prospects ― but warned me of the intensity of his feelings of repugnance, wh. I found too true, & I had the most painful conversation in my life ―― May I never have such another; it took the darkest view of everything; he showed an excess of dislike, & an exaggerated harshness upon both her & myself wh. was most distressing, & shocking. I am far from thinking that my conduct has been blameless, in respect of self control, self denial &c. ― but the facts of the case do not warrant, & my own conscience protests against his condemnation. It was a sore trial, but I am happy to say that I was able, as I had promised Lou ― to say nothing wh. could irritate him. ― Indeed I was unable to do justice to myself, & at last fairly broke down. He ended [affably], with the most gloomy forebodings indeed “if he were to predict” ―― but hoping that he might be wrong, & with a “God bless you!” he finely admitted that he did not know the person herself, nor every one so totally knows her. L. promises to do all she can to make things better with him but fears that nothing but time will [reveal], ― that he will not have the Malcolms at Ravensdale &c. &c. She begs me to say nothing to the old Lady until I am engaged, & quite agrees that I should speak out to Lady W. next month, & have everything understood. I have not made up my mind yet about Mrs. R. ― Nothing has been said between her & others on the subject. My dear fellow, what a miserable man I should be ― if I had the faintest misgiving in my own mind, as to what I am about to do., ― but I have not, & my purpose is certainly tried in the fire by C.’s feelings & arguments.” ――― A sad story indeed! May all end well ― but I fear sometimes.
We walked to church in mizzly rain. As Satan would have it, the A. Creed was read, for S. Bartholomew’s day! ― but I stood out the nonsense & blasphemy, wh. is so only to those whose eyes are not sealed by early prejudice, or narrow capacity.
The church is beautiful ― the service well conducted. Permeation of stables followed, wh. I eschewed. ― I fix to go hence on Wednesday, to Filey. Lunch ― very cheerful & pleasant ― the children are really very delightful. Wrote to C.F. & to Mrs. Palmer, [Christopher] Empson, & Louisa [Ranson], & Ed. Waterton. At 4 showed Palestine drawings to Lady W. & the children; ― & afterwards walked till 7.15. in the park & in the wood: very pretty. Dinner; pleasant: & evening ditto. Prayers. Sang a good deal afterwards. The 2 ― host & hostess are regular good people. ― Bed at 11.45.
 Louisa, Clermont’s wife.
[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3.]