Were there ever more truly dreadful days than these? Except that there is perhaps a pale light, an experience of the past, which deters & postpones despair. Yet at times, how well pleased could I be to have the “judgement” now ―― fearing I may meet it less well if later. ―
Dull, thick, gray day. ― Letters from T.G. Baring, & Ann. ― Called at Crakes ― & went to 2 or 3 houses ― for lodgings. Then to [C. de H.s], for some time. To other houses ― all useless. Gambier Parry’s: ― cum multis aliis. ((“With many others.”)) ― A. Seymour, B. Redclyffe. ( At 8½ H. Farquhar called ― asking me to dine.) ― Next to the “Hogarth’s”: ― & then in a cart, to 3 Red Lion Square. R. Martineau out. Rain. Bus to Mr. Bell’s. ― He, & James Dalton: lunch: pleasant. ― Bus to B. Martineau ―― not as pleasant. Walked thence, enquiring at many houses, ― but finding none to visit, ― more & more rain, & so & so to [U.I.M.] whence I went to Luards’, & Hallidays: & other places ― all in pouring rain.
An hour of disgust at home, when I concluded it would be better to give up all idea of other houses ― & simply to work a very little here, & then go into the country: ― where? ― At 7¾ to Henry Farquhar’s ―:― Large, & very good & wealthy dinner. Hon. Mrs. Woodhouse (who told me of her son’s being here:) ― Mrs. Hanbury ― formerly Webb ―― &c. &c.
[Always rather a bore, not much.]
Lady Farquhar then.
But what [mean] stuff is this to be called life!!!
[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3.]